a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
