and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
