i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
