so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
