I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
