4 words: hood of his car
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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