I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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