Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
