They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
