He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
