Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
