My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize