I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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