I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
