dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
