I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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