Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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