I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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