You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
