I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I still have a little drunk in my system
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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