i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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