I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
