I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
