ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
