The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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