I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize