For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
