Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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