Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
