Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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