it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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