Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
honey bunches of taint.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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