Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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