i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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