I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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