this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those đ
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
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