kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
