No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
