I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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