Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
