it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
