How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize