Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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