I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
