8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
