I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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