i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize