I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
