Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize