he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
