I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
