Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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