i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
