is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize