We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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