it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
