16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
