honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
