I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
