He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
