Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize