I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
