if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
