Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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