Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
